2012

A new year comes along and I start to think about improvement; it's hokey, but I've come to find that the things that seem to be lame and cliched are only that way because they deserve that bit of attention. There's some weight to them. They matter.

And, cliches aside, a new year represents a great time for us to use the calendar that usually imprisons us daily with grinding monotony to our advantage. We can say that this point in time, capital-R Right now, is when we can make a change or a promise and it'll mean something. I hear a lot of people criticize resolutions because you have plenty of power to change whenever you want[1], but days with a certain weight to them can often help because, you know, change is really hard. We always seem to forget that fact when we sanctimoniously make lists or dismiss others for their list-making but, when we get down to it, choosing to disrupt the easy trudge toward oblivion with something new is admirable. Self-reflection is too.

Resolution-wise, I'm not much of a list-maker, but I like to think about the best parts of the human experience. So, here's something about that:

I hope you feel things this year. I hope you take deeper breaths and smaller steps. I hope you do more things you enjoy without worrying about them embarrassing you or being impractical. Spend entire nights alone inside and then don't spend entire nights alone and inside. I hope you memorize the smells of your childhood home, the beat up cars of your fair-weather friends, and any place you aren't sure if you're returning to or not.

Find someone you can stand and let them love you; likewise, let yourself love them. Light things on fire. Write things. Develop habits, nervous ticks, or casual acquaintance-ships with the people you pass on the street (greet each other with nods and smiles, maybe a wave). Try something illegal and don't get caught. Or do.

Bump into strangers and old friends. Feel guilty. Let things get dark; imagine everything you could've done differently and everyone who makes you wish you were better. Feel unworthy and unmotivated only to be pulled from that cloud of self-pity and utter bullshit by a really great night with a pile of equally great people. Be grateful for your time at the bottom.

Remember you're lucky. Remember you're temporary. Remember you're guaranteed nothing and everything.

Enjoy it.

[1] I'm really tired of this, actually. It's the new cliche to replace resolutions. Also, it makes you sound like a holier than thou butt trumpet.