On a college campus there's always those really creative kids who can come up with these awesome and creative costumes[1]. Then there are the huddled masses who just want to get really really drunk and don't particularly care what they look like provided there's a keg in the room. In the middle of these are the cliched and obvious, pop culture-based costumes that you are most definitely going to see a lot of. Here's your field guide to the 2011 Halloween Scene:
It doesn't matter if it's mildly racist, stupid or just strange, Halloween for a college girl typically means Sexy. It means sexy pirate, sexy maid, sexy sailor, sexy police officer, sexy nurse, sexy doctor[2], sexy mailman, sexy homeless man, sexy Lyndon B. Johnson, sexy third-cousin-who isn't-really-your-cousin, -so-it's-not-weird. Girls have the total right to look fierce and hot and expose whatever parts of their bodies they want. I firmly believe that. I just think that the packaged costumes fom Spencers Gifts are kind of lame. I also think the sexy costume trope is old news to the point that it feels like a bad joke. Also, newsflash: Native American, Asian, Indian, South American are cultures. Not costumes. Your skanky Pocahontas look is more than mildly offensive.
2. Dead Mau5
I guess everyone really likes Paper Mache. I saw so many people with the weird mouse heads on and it looks an awful lot like a preschooler tried to be Mickey and just couldn't. Kudos for taking the time to make something and for not having your boobs out and about (except for you, Sexy Dead Mau5. Fuck yourself.)
3. Ron Swanson.
Parks and Recreation is a really funny show. I love Amy Poehler in numerous creep-tastic ways. I sort of think of it as "the little show that could" because it started off with so few people watching (I only started watching recently). Ron Swanson is hilarious. How could he not be when he compares fishing to yoga (only you get to kill things). I've seen a shitton of mustaches and furrowed brows already and, you know what? It's still fucking great. I love this costume. I love the people wearing this costume. I have no issues whatsoever with it being overused. I'd probably love a sexy Ron Swanson. Can't you just imagine it, though? A sexy Ron Swanson...I could dig that.
4. Black Swan.
I feel like everyone has a black swan friend. I have six. They all spent the first part of October chattering about tutus and eye makeup and they all seem to be sort of oblivious that a bunch of other girls are doing the exact. same. thing. It is the perfect costume for the slightly more mature college girl, she's got a little bit more self-respect and is a bit more high brow than your average sexy wench, so she opts to retain the sexy, limited-clothing approach but makes her face fucking terrifying with that creepy, beady eyed, bird of death look [3]. I want them to all find one another in the same room (At this rate, it should probably be a freakin' stadium) and fight over who's the most "perfect."[4]
5. Finn (or Fionna) Adventure Time.
If you're in college or do a lot of drugs or both you probably like Adventure Time. Kids shows that give you night terrors and make you feel like you're on acid are always favorites for some people. You can also carry a backpack full of beer and it won't look weird with your costume. Also, a sword. It does sort of win in some cases for practicality, I guess. But, I saw a lot of them at Comic Con and then quite a few while walking down Main street and I'm sort of "eh" about the whole thing. You could do worse, but you could do better[5]. This is too damn Twee to be sexified, but I guess you could find a way...
6. That Guy Who Doesn't Even Try.
Who has two thumbs and is repping number six? This girl. The other night, I went as a lifeguard. I am a lifeguard. This sort of defeats the purpose of Halloween. Honey-Katie didn't give a shit. I also went/am going as a Lax bro (this is a little better, but nothing all that special). I'm not alone in my pathetically not creative ways. There were quite a few others who looked like they opened their drawers an hour before the party and made some wild guesses. If dressing up isn't really your thing, then it's not really your thing [6] and often times these costumes can be pretty damn successful (not in my case, but for others).
Have a Herpy Derpy Hallowiener and keep it classy (because I won't).
[1] As always, I'm dwarfed by their creative prowess. Those fuckers.
[2] There's no difference between those two, right? Unless it's like sexy Doctor Who...
[3] I don't have issues with birds or anything...
[4]Want to know what would be perfect? If someone combined these costumes. Why not Black Swanson? Ballerina with creepy eyes and a mustache. A sexy Black Swanson would of course mean that you win Halloween. This is GOLD people. Fucking gold.
[5] I'd like some Marceline (or a Marshall Lee, unf) and Ice King up in this bitch.
[6] Oh haii, Tautology! Long time no see.
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